Today was that day.
My wonderful in-laws and sister-in-laws decided to surprise me with an impromptu photo shoot with my family and I earlier today before the big shave. It was wonderful seeing all the pictures of us before my looks would change, kind of like a marker in time for us to look back on later. So many different shots frozen in time – Randy and I hugging, the kids walking hand in hand in the yard, me holding my kids – laughing, smiling…and looking normal (with hair). I will cherish these photos forever.
Then it was time to go to the head shaving party that my dear friends, the Davis’ (and all the wonderful friends who attended) threw for me. I arrived and got my makeup done (thanks Beth!), then watched in amazement as tables were setup with pink feathers, head shavers and posters toting the phrase “Team Jenny.”
I sat in a chair and watched SO many people arrive and get feathers in their hair for support and others shaving their heads in support. It was emotionally overwhelming! Then it was my turn.
They lined up a chair next to mine for Randy and we both got our heads shaved at the same time. Everyone said a prayer over me before we started, and I lost it. Tears just poured down my face – nerves, swallowing that big lump of fear, and feeling the love of all my friends as they stood around me cheering me on. We had a little fun, shaving a mohawk and then spraying it pink before we shaved it off completely….there was laughter and tears and plenty of photographs to remember it later.
It really wasn’t as bad as I had made it out in my mind. All the things I was afraid of – my husband wouldn’t be able to look at me, my kids would be scared of me, Sadie wouldn’t recognize me…..all of that just washed away. My boys lined up and wanted their heads shaved as well, and Sadie kept touching my bald head and giggling.
I’ve had some people ask me why I would do that with a crowd gathered around me. How could I not? I needed every single person’s support letting me know they are standing with me….that I’m not carrying this torch alone, but they’re behind me cheering me on. I have tears running down my face writing this because I was so overwhelmed at the number of people who were there, most wearing pink shirts or hats, even some in pink tutus, just for me, praying over me saying they can’t wait to see how many lives are touched by my story.
Well this isn’t just my story, it’s all our story. Because all of us live with fears in our lives, things we are terrified to face head on. For each one of us, it’s different – yes, it could be cancer but it could be anything really – that person that we refuse to forgive and are terrified to face, the situation our mistakes have put us in, feeling lost and alone, being trapped in addiction so deep we don’t think anyone could ever understand, financial ruin, or even trying so hard to be someone we are not and afraid of anyone knowing the real us.
But I hope my story becomes your story. It’s a story of releasing our fears and facing things head on. Staring it in the face….nose to nose, eye to eye. Stop running away from it. If I can face cancer head on, you can face your situation as well. I’ll even lock arms with you like you’ve locked arms with me.
I’ll just be the one that did it with a pink mohawk.
I m standing in a puddle of tears, overwhelmed with emotion from reading your words. I am so proud to call you my friend. You are amazing. You are stunning. You are brave. You are so very loved, and love, my friend, conquers all. WE will get through this. Whether hand in hand in the chemo room or spirit to spirit through Jesus’ connection, you have a mighty army of us fighting with you. WE ARE TEAM JENNY!!!!! I love you.